Abide in Him

Wow, 2010 is gone.  Now it's time to write down resolutions for the new year and reflect on what has happened in the old one.

This has been a hard year.  I'm not going to lie.  It has been full of question, waiting, question, and waiting some more.  We've seen loved ones go through intense physical and personal pain.  We've said good-bye to a precious grandmother.  We've had to wrestle with some very dark doubt.

But it's also been a good year.  A great year, actually.  In the pain, we have seen God's amazing comfort, power, and strength along with the beauty of Christian fellowship and bearing one another's burdens.  In the loss, we have celebrated True Life.  In the questions & wrestling, God has verified who He is and who we are as His children.  He has brought to light many of our own gifts & desires along with revealing places in our hearts needing His touch.  God gave us our precious little man-o, Brandt.

It's been a great, hard year.

When I was challenged to pick one word for this coming year, my thoughts immediately went to what I want to happen:

The Year of CHANGE

The Year of HAPPENING

The Year of LET'S GET GOING ALREADY

(okay, that's 4 words and one is a contraction...)

I knew that wouldn't work.  I'm an action person, but sometimes there is nothing else to do but wait.  Argh.

And so I thought of a word.  It was a good word.  I even started to write about it.  But I wasn't at peace.  I left my writing and went to scrub dishes, rolling the word over and over.  It wasn't right.  

I wasn't right.

Grabbing my coat, I hoped the children would nap just a little bit more, and I walked, really stomped, out to our pond.  Tears were streaming.  I was angry.  Angry with the way this year was ending.  Angry that I didn't know what this next year holds.

I sat on our rickety old picnic table, I put my head in my hands and sat quietly.  God does not speak to me audibly but His Spirit certainly speaks to my heart.  This is part of our conversation...

"Put us where we belong, Lord."  

(I thought this was a pretty submissive sounding request)

You don't belong anywhere here on earth.  Your home is in heaven.

"Yes, but it seems so far away.  Everything seems so far away."

Abide in Me, and I will abide in you.

"We're still seeking Your will?  Can't I have a sign? Just something?  Anything?"

I've already done that.  You're here.  Abide in Me, and I will abide in you.

I smiled, of course He is doing something.  He always is, I just need to be quiet, strip my heart and see it.  I stood and walked back to our house to finish making dinner.  "Abide in Me..." 

I haven't heard that verse recently and I know the last time I heard it the translation of "remain" had been used. 

Abide. 

I looked up John 15 in the ESV, which uses "abide" (NASB, KJV, ASV, ERV, & a few lesser known translations use it as well).

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. ²Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. ³Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. ⁴Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. ⁵I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. ⁶If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. ⁷If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. ⁸ By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. ⁹As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love."

a·bide/əˈbīd/

1. to wait for
2. a. to endure without yielding
    b. to bear patiently
3. to accept without objection
-Webster's

I had always thought of the word abide in the sense of living in an "abode".  Like to "live in Christ and He will live in us".  That is accurate, Christ does live in me, but this word has an even richer meaning.  God has shown me such mercy and love by abiding in me throughout this last year.  I've been hard, even rebellious to what I know I ought to do.  But He has loved me patiently, accepting me for the ornery, pouting, temperamental child I am.

So many Resolutions are based on the thought that "if you can believe in yourself, you can do it."  But for me, a "doing" person, it is very easy to fall into the trap of self-sufficiency.  And anyone that has tried that for very long has probably been slapped in the face by their own weaknesses.  I know I have.  I know I'm a work in progress. 

This year, I am going to practice abiding in God.  I am asking Him to help me wait, endure, bear patiently and to accept what the Lord brings without objecting to His sovereign plan.  I am going to seek after my root in Jesus, the vine, and grow as God the "vinedresser" (isn't that a cool term?) determines, training my unruly tendrils to the trellis of His choosing and pruning as He sees fit.  I have a long way to go in my non-enduring, impatient, unaccepting self.  But He is with me, I know He is working through me. 

ABIDE

μείνατε ἐν ἐμοί, κἀγὼ ἐν ὑμῖν

"You abide in me, in you I will abide."

What is your word for the coming year?  

What about a verse?

This is the blog that gave me the idea of a word for the year.  

I realize it isn't Wednesday, but it's taken a while for this to solidify :-)

A Sunny Winter Day

The weather was just gorgeous yesterday, around 70* I believe.  So we bundled up and ran outside to absorb some vitamin D and run out some wiggles.  Of course, our animals joined the party.  Come with us!

Running to the pond!

 Brandt practices standing on our decrepit old picnic table.

  Jack gets a little personal during his ear scratch :-)

 Clyde gets a little personal, too.  Hello, Clyde.

I placed Brandt on the ground and he was just mesmerized.

"Oh Mama!  It's just so beautiful and exciting out here!"

"Look at the ground!  Look at the grass!"

"Is this edible?"

He stayed on the ground pawing it like a bull for about 5 minutes.  

He's an outdoors type of guy.

And here is our precious Missy.  We are Missy's 4th recorded home.  I say recorded because she was found as a stray so who knows what happened before then.  The man that gave her to us had her spayed at my request and once she was under and they went to find her uterus it wasn't there.  So apparently she'd already been spayed.  That's quite an ordeal to go through twice, but the sweet girl hasn't let on any embitterment.  In fact, she just loves, loves, loves. 

 She loves to be loved, too.

 I know if Charissa kept hugging her for a couple days she would stay in this exact position.

Unless maybe a winged creature came by.  

Missy kills winged creatures.  

Just ask my 7 dearly departed guinea hens.  

Oh well, having a wonderful dog was higher on my priority list.

 The pond is one of Clyde's favorite places.  He'll just sit and survey.  

He particularly enjoys watching and participating in fishing.  

You have to be careful where the lure goes.  

I'm sure he'll be hooked one of these days while we're casting.

"Ah, it's good to be king."

 Missy on the other hand...

"It's good to adore you, wonderful human."

You know that's what they are thinking.

Charissa stands on the table and sings,

"Go tew it on deh mowtin, ober dah hi-ows an ewewhey-er!"

And Brandt and I go swinging.

It was a beautiful day!  Wish you could have been here, too.

Life'n'stuff

- Charissa got organic bubble bath in her stocking.  I was surprised at how bubbly it gets and the kiddos love it :-)

- I just found Brandt in the bathroom eating toilet paper with the rest of the roll strewn on the floor. 

- Charissa was given an enormous chocolate lollipop from a friend.  She just finished it after 2 hours of sucking, chewing, and attempted-Brandt-feedings.   I think I'll just throw the whole house into our washer ...including Brandt. 

- I polished the hard water stains off all our glasses with hot vinegar water this morning but every dirty dish since Sunday is still on my counter.  In neat stacks, mind you.  I think I got every dish in the house dirty three times in the past 4 days.  We're still eating leftovers, so it was worth it.  But I still need to do dishes.

- I have three paper cut wounds from opening Christmas cards.  Isn't that pathetic?

- If you look closely at the picture below, someone has started writing the letter 'C'.  Yay, Miss C!

See the 'C's?

- Brandt is wearing 18 month pants and he's only 8 months old.  I finally decided to start feeding him solids regularly in an attempt to have him sleep through the night, but with more food and at the rate he's growing, he'll be in the NFL draft at age 10.  This kid isn't even close to fat.  He's a solid rock.  Charissa's chest measures 19" and Brandt's is 18".

- I made the most amazing frosting ever for Doug's birthday cake on Sunday.  I'll have to share it with you later since I'm not about to make it again anytime soon for the how-to pictures.  Well, maybe I'll have to tell you anyway since I can't deprive you much longer.

- We have an amazing collection of animal bones in our front yard thanks to the taxidermist up the street and our two rogue dogs.  Rib cages.  There are rib cages in my front yard.  It's like a horror flick.

- The Christmas cards are now New Year cards.  Here's hoping...

Our Christmas

This Christmas was our first "just us" Christmas.  It was a cozy and relaxed day.

Here is our little tree!

Apparently, I cut off the top of tree's heads as well as people's.

Charissa's fat stocking, lovingly crochet by her Great-Grandma Zeller.

MERRY FIRST CHRISTMAS, BRANDT!!!

 Charissa got a recorder in her stocking.  

It was a hit in the figurative sense and also literally to my eardrums. 

 Her main present was the Cooking & Dining Set from GreenToys.com.  

They are made out of recycled milk jugs.  How cool is that?

She immediately made me soup seasoned with salt & pepper 

while Doug was served chicken and rolls.

 Brandt's present was a dump truck, also from GreenToys.  

Currently, I'm pretty sure Charissa enjoys it more.

See her purple ball hopper?  

That's been an alternating source of great joy and injury.

 Brandt just wanted to hang out with Daddy.

We read the Christmas story and watched The Nativity.

What a simple and blessed day with my favorite people!

"For to us a Child is Born, to us a Son is given, 

and the government will be on His shoulders.

And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, 

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

Isaiah 9:6

Hope you all had a joyous Christmas celebrating the True Gift!

The Faith of a Child

A few nights ago, I sat with my little girl in my lap reading her Bible Promise book.

"Mama? My heart is bad.  It is bad inside me."

I was shocked.  Where had she ever heard that?  

She must have decided it on her own.

"Do you want a good heart, sweetie?  

Do you want Jesus to make it clean?"

"Yes."  She was sincere.  Her brown eyes wide.

Daddy came across the room.  He led her in a short and simple prayer.  

Her curly head bowed, her eyes shut tightly, 

her sweet lisp repeating each word carefully.

I kept thinking, "What is happening?  She's only two!"

As I watched, I spoke to the same One,

"Thank you,"  my heart whispered,

"For so many prayers are answered this day."

We have taught our daughter about Jesus 

for the same reason we teach her to hold our hand in the parking lot, 

not to play with knives, not to get to close to the edge of our pond.  

It means the difference between life and death.

But even more than that, when the other earthly precautions fail,

(for no precaution can escape death)

her eternal life will be secure.  

Through the simple faith and prayer of a child.

Some say children cannot understand at this age, 

their minds unable to grasp every intricacy of the Gospel story.  

But in all honesty, I am staggered by the complexities myself 

and have yet to meet anyone that has grasped it in its entirety.

For love this deep and justice this strong is more than our frail human capabilities can comprehend.

But even a small baby can understand love.

And the Holy Spirit has dwelt within a new born child (Luke 1:15),

It is a simple understanding, but I will not negate the faith of my child.  

Perhaps, it is an even purer faith than that of her elders, 

often muddied by the questions, the trials and uncertainties of life.

For Jesus is as real to her as the sun,

which she doesn't understand completely,

but she knows its name and dances in it's rays daily.

True Beauty

In my completely unbiased opinion,

I have the most beautiful 2 year old on the face of the earth.

I'm pretty solidly convinced.

"No more posing for pictures, Mama!"

"Okay, fine but it's with 'The Picture Smile'"

She saw an airplane.

Another cheesy smile...

Tickles!

 But her greatest beauty is on the inside.  

My kind, sweet & thoughtful helper-girl.

What would I do without you?

Our Wreath

Charissa, Brandt and I went outside today to gathered cedar branches and all kinds of berries for a wreath.  This isn't the best picture, but we're pretty proud of it.

 

 I love these berries!

 And all from our backyard :-)